On keeping them little...

         We are in our last few weeks of summer here for the Lloyd Pack. School is still a distant memory for the kids but in the back of my mind I know these lazy days are slowly winding down. It’s been an amazing summer so far. Just how I pretty much wanted it to go. We’ve had the right amount of playdates, spent the right amount of money on entertainment, and taken an unforgettable vacation, and just chilled at home. We’ve gotten to see almost all our friends we’ve wanted to multiple times and hung out with family.

I’m trying to hang on to this time when they are little, these summer memories, these days of innocence. When we can all go to a play date together and they are all entertained. There aren’t any bored teenagers yet and I don’t have babies anymore that are too little to join and are strapped into a stroller while the rest do an activity. They can all participate for the most part when we meet up with friends. And I don’t know how much longer this will last with their ages (8,7,5,4).

I want to hang on to this time when they are so young and innocent still. Lilly is almost 9 and going into fourth grade. This is the school year where it could all change. I’m trying so hard to shelter her a little longer from all that’s out there. Bullies, kids who are going to start telling her adult things she doesn’t need to be worrying about just yet, kids telling her about things like political or religious views they hear from their parents. Values and ethics we aren't teaching our kids or that are extremely different from ours. I’m not ready for scary movies or racy clothing, or discussions about kissing yet. Honestly all I want for her to worry about right now is playing with her Barbies, roller skating, swimming, chasing butterflies. It makes me sad when she’s already starting to have kids not like her, kids arguing with her, kids telling her adult things she doesn’t need to know, opinions and views that are not theirs to teach or instill in my kids head. I know it's bound to happen to her, to all of them really, but I just wasn't quite ready for all this yet. I thought we had more time for glitter paint, reading Highlights magazine together, running through the sprinklers with our clothes on. Fourth grade will be a big change. I'm sure I'm going to have to start answering the tough questions, I know she will start getting hurt and let down by people more.

My other kids are pretty oblivious to it all. I don't mind at all when they have an adult question for me that I get to answer how I chose. It just makes me sad when they have been given an opinion on something already like it's the rule or the only belief. I want them to be given the whole side to the story and the most honest truth I can give them, not something they've heard around school or from friends. Or if it's something too adult, a watered down, PG version so their question is answered but they haven't been loaded down with adult information. Like the whole Caitlynn Jenner thing. They heard about it (not really sure where) and I explained it as simply as possible and told them that it’s ok to be that way. We didn’t get into a heavy discussion and they probably forgot about it a few minutes later, and it was no big deal. I'm trying to instill tolerance, acceptance of others, and most of all kindness. I know I'm not the best at any of these things but I want my kids to be better than me. I liked being able to keep our conversations on the heavy stuff light and easy for now considering their ages. So after our Cait discussion, we moved on and continued on our merry way back to coloring.

Today I heard my almost 9 year old giggling with her best friend while building a fairy house together. They were trying to figure out how to capture a fairy sometime. And then they were talking about trying to see the Tooth Fairy in the middle of the night each time they lost a tooth. I wanted to seal this little moment of childhood innocence with them forever, knowing they still wholeheartedly believed in all of this. I know I can’t keep the big bad world away from them forever but it felt good that for now it was at bay. Summer just feels like that magical time where I have more control on their childhood innocence, where I get to influence their sweet minds the most. There's more fairy dust in the air and less exposure to the Captain Hooks and Queen of Hearts that they encounter during the school year. I said a silent prayer of thanks that my kids still have this for now, and another silent prayer to please let it last a little longer. Please don’t let it all start disappearing with any of my kids just yet. Let me keep them little just a tiny bit longer. 

                                               Happy rest of summer to my friends and family...